Portland and National Sex Scandals: A Brief Primer

Former VP Al Gore seen in actual simulated photograph just moments before his moral lockbox exploded in the Hotel Lucia 

In case you’ve avoided it so far, see also this Oregonian story about Al Gore’s alleged antics here in beautiful Portland, Ore.

This is very weird, and not a little bit unsettling. Not just because it’s the vice presidentially-elected (2x), presidentially elected-but-for-Republican-scheming, Oscar-winning, Nobel-winning environmental activist fella. But mostly because this alleged event took place, allegedly, in sweet, rain-washed Portland.

It’s not the first time Portland and major sex scandals have intersected.

Bill Clinton’s in-house paramour, Ms. Monica Lewinsky, was educated at Portland’s Lewis & Clark College, a/k/a my own personal alma mater.

This one is more of a stretch, but bear with me, because when John Edwards got busted at the Beverly Hilton hotel while meeting with his paramour-slash-mother-of-his-out-of-wedlock-baby, an actual Portland, Ore journalist was there, too. Okay, six floors above him. Sound asleep. With no idea what was going on, because he was too busy resting up from another day’s worth of covering the TCA press tour. But had I been awake and using the men’s room outside the bar I would have been right in the middle of it, man.

And now Al Gore may or may not have been creating a very unhappy ending to an in-room massage appointment in an elegant downtown hotel here in Portland.

None of which should (as alert reader Mara Nesbitt-Aldrich points out) make us forget the majestic leadership of former U.S. Sen Bob Packwood (bring your running shoes) and former Portland mayor/Oregon governor Neil Goldschmidt (don’t even ask).

Is it us? Is it them? What the hell is flowing down that river of ours? And please, please, please don’t get me started on Portland mayor Sam Adams.

Where does this leave us? In an awkward place. We feel tarnished. And yet also vaguely guilty. Time for a little soul-searching? I think so. Definitely.

More later. But for now: prayer. Or meditation. Or a few microbrews. Consult your own chosen God for an appropriate response. 

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